Ulu

As COVID-19 had us sitting at home under restrictions that did not allow us to meet even close family, we started working from home, learning from home. As a teacher many had to teach from home while having their own kids study at home. Not sure how the teachers with little ones did it. It was definitely one of the most challenging teaching years for all. I'm sure my teacher colleagues would agree! As 2020-2021 came to its last few months before the much awaited and needed summer break begun I made a strange decision. I say strange now because if you had asked me in May of 2021 that I'd be heading off to almost the North Pole in August of 2021, I'd tell you "Crazy talk". Heck! If my future self sent me a photo of myself being in Yellowknife on a postcard from August 2021, I still would not have believed it. It kind of just happened. Yes, I applied to some jobs but I don't think I intended to accept or let alone move! Don't get me wrong, it was not baseless either. I did have many varying reasons. When it got to the actual packing, emptying the house and moving though I realized what I had signed up for was a lot harder than I had imagined but with a lot of help and support from loved ones I was off to our adventure from Burlington, ON, to Ulukhaktok, NT. In the chaos of it all I was reminded of Balki Bartokomous (from Perfect strangers, for anyone remembers watching it). I felt like it was me holding that sign which instead of "America or Burst" would say "Ulu or Burst". Here to share my adventures with my 3 children...

As we left home and said goodbyes to family there was the reality dawning upon us about this adventure we are about to embark on. The youngest, 5 years old, super excited about flying for her very first time. Her excitement was enough for all of us to put aside our anxiety and fears of unknown.

Blessed with 3 loving men in my life, 2 baby brothers (now in early 30s) and my husband who stuck around to ensure safe travels. They may have actually been more stressed than me but it was thanks to their presence that I was still calm. I can't remember the last time I flew somewhere... maybe 2009? Things have surely changed since then especially thanks to COVID-19. Both my brothers frequent flyers were able to guide us through the process. Even then, as good as technology is and while it can help us a lot, it cannot replace what a human can do.

As our boarding passes were being printed by the kiosk and the 11 bags that I had to have their baggage labels printed, all of a sudden the screen read "out of order". We looked at each other, "what does that mean?". As in, "now what??". We called over an Air Canada agent and though she tried to help at another kiosk, it didn't help. "You will unfortunately have to go in the long line up". The line up was long and slow. My youngest brother, kept looking at the time and calculating that we will probably not get our turn till 11:30am and our flight boards at 11:40am and was supposed to take off at 12pm. We still had to get through the security with 4 "personal items" and 4 carry on. Taking out all the electronics and checking for any liquid etc was itself going to take time. I had 2 choices, either let my brothers "no pressure " warnings build the pressure or remember my Lord and let things flow and happen. After all, I didn't exactly have control over much of it.

Then I saw this lady who seemed to be senior in her experience as an Air Canada rep and talked to her explaining why we are in the long line and how we are possibly about to miss our flight. She was kind enough to ask us to follow her to the other end of the hall where she herself checked in all our luggage and we set off to the security lines, hurriedly hugging goodbyes to the beloved ones who were ushering us onwards.

By now the older kids already had an idea of the possibility of missing the flight and there was some panic. There was also the reality of having said goodbye to their father who was not coming with us. Not knowing when they would see their uncles again and no idea of what is coming from the unknown realities of Yellowknife and eventually Ulukhaktok.

My eldest burst out crying as these feelings overcame her. I pushed her onwards calling out, "Everything is going to be fine. We are going to be ok. We are going to make the flight " The person helping at security was very helpful and friendly. I am thankful to him that we got through the security faster than it may have been. My daughter's anxiety had not lessened yet and as she tried to fit her wacom mobilestudio back into her hand carry she was losing her patience. Worried that she could become the cause for us to miss the flight she struggled even more, "I can't do it, it is not going back in". I tried to calm her while I could feel my own mouth getting really dry and no water around. "You focus on just your bag, we got the other ones. You can do this! Just take out everything that you need to and put it back." And she did. In the meantime my son also stood strong, picking up and collecting all the other bags, while I put back whatever I could. Last items were the jackets and I held the youngest by her hand as I lead us to one of the farthest gates, at least it seemed that way as it was at the end, D37. I said,"jump" as we got on and walked on the moving belt and then called out "jump" to get her off that one, then the next and finally right turn into D37. We made it! People were still boarding.

There was one more issue that I was hoping could be resolved here. We had 2 seats together in isle 17, one in 18 and somehow the 5 yr old had a seat in 35 by herself. We had to send one person back there alone and I know my son would be ok. Maybe not ok with it per se but I know he can handle it. He has been meaning to travel alone to visit his uncle before so this is kind of alone and yet not really. Finally we sat in our seats, luggage stowed awaiting lift off. Our flight out of Edmonton to Yellowknife boarded at 14:45... by the time we actually took off, destination landing would now be at 14:51. Leaving YYZ was delayed 30 minutes which means we have missed our next flight and will be going on a different one. I hope we can get seats together in the next leg of this journey.

As the plane landed in Edmonton, there were only 5 minutes left for our next flight to take off. There is no way we are going to make it so instead of rushing I decided I’d wait for my son, who was sitting at the back of the plane to catch up to where our seats were and then we would walk out together. As we stood in our seats waiting for him, my eldest noticed him in line at the back and then he disappeared. “Maybe he got off the plane already?”, she said. How was it possible that we would have missed him catching up to us or vice versa? The only thing that made sense was that he probably went to the bathroom which was even further back in the plane. Now restless and sure that we missed him and that he has gotten off the plane, my daughter decided to go ahead and look for him, except she went right out and didn’t even take her carry on bag with her. After waiting a while, with no sign of my son, I decided to take the 5 year old and get off as well. This was an impossible task with 1 backpack, 1 child with her own backpack, jackets in hand and 2 carry on sport bags. I literally could not get through the isle and kept dropping one thing after another until the nice lady behind me decided to help me by carrying my jacket and one of the bags. Finally, I managed to get off and find my eldest, called her out to come and get the bag. In the mean time, my son also emerged from the end of the line.

If there was any hope of catching the next plane, by now that had depleted. We were almost the last people coming off this plane in Edmonton. When the plane landed, we were already late, now we are probably going to have to spend the night here and then get the next plane to Yellowknife in the morning. Having resigned to this fate, I asked the ground crew about what should we do now that we have missed the next flight. We get sent to another person to ask the same question, who responds by telling us that we should still try to make an attempt to catch the next flight.

With slim chances of making it, we make a run for it. Loaded with bags, huffing and puffing to literally the other end of the long stretch of the airport. Half way through, I spot an airport employee with a neon vest. I flag her down to ask her about the status of the next flight. Out of breath, I cannot speak so I just show her my boarding pass for the flight on Northern Air. Hey, if we have missed the flight, then at least we can stop the running! She asks, “Are there 4 of you?” and I reply in the affirmative. Apparently, the plane is waiting for us but we will have to make a run for it. More running?!?

I pull the backpack off my 5 year old’s back and set her free. “Run! Follow that lady!” And we set off, as fast as our bodies allowed with the heavy bags until we finally got to the gate. Apparently, our carry on luggage would have to go in the cargo as there is not enough space. We manage to keep some of it. I especially wanted to make sure that our snacks are accessible since we have not had time to eat anything. The kids had some snacks but I literally have not had anything since morning and it was like 5pm EST. Huffing and puffing we got to our seats and thanked God for allowing us to catch the flight when all odds were against it. Once I caught my breath, I managed to get some water to drink for the throbbing headache and finally eat a snack.

On this flight we managed to sit together, 2 on one side and 2 on the other, same isle. Finally, I got to get some shut eye and the flight went quite smoothly. As we came near Yellowknife, the ground shown in between many lakes. It was raining so the visibility was not so great. We were just glad we had made it to our destination and that there was a bed ready for us to sleep in tonight.

Once we got off the plane, we had to check in with our approved plans that said we had to self isolate for at least 10 days due to one of us being under 12 and not vaccinated. We had requested to stay at Chatau Nova, which was one of the self-isolation centres, that offered Halal meals. There was supposed to be a shuttle going from the airport to Chatau Nova but no one there knew anything about it. I figured we would probably just take a cab but let’s use the bathroom and then get our baggage first.

We make our way to where the bags should have been. The airport is now mostly empty. Most people who arrived with us had left. Only a few employees at the airport now. It was almost a ghost-airport, if there is such a term? I see the carry-on bags that we had to put into the cargo at Edmonton airport, but that’s it… I had 13 bags when I left Toronto Pearson airport, not including the hand carry and none were here. These bags were loaded on with the help of my brothers and husband in Toronto and one of the stresses was about how I will manage to lug all of these to the hotel along with kids. Problem solved. They did not show up. I did not have to lug them anywhere. Sure, there was a moment of panic, “where is all my stuff?” I paid almost $900 for this extra baggage and it is not here?!

Upon inquiry, the baggage had not come with me and when it does arrive it will be sent to the hotel. So I don’t have to stress about figuring out how to take 13+ bags with me? Most Gracious Lord, I am much grateful for this treat! I’m on the phone with my friend who has been in Yellowknife 11 years and my apartment mate (soul mate) 20+ years ago. She is calling a cab for me and we are off to Chatau Nova.

A family friend, who knows my dad from Hamilton, had also sent his son to get us at the airport but we caught the cab before he could come. He wanted to help with our 13 bags but that was a non-issue now. I thanked him for his kindness and got to the hotel. Here he called again and offered to send us home cooked dinner but I had already contacted the restaurant and ordered food. Instead of the dinner, his son dropped off desi snack food, chana chaat and dahi baray! Yum! Thank you again Most Gracious, Most Kind and Most Loving for everything!

At the hotel, we were to self isolate for at least 10 days. On the 10^th day if the 5-year-old was clear, after covid test, we would be ok to go places but until then we were only allowed to go on walks outside. On Saturday my friend, who I lived with only one year in University and we became soul mates and learned a lot about life from each other, came to visit. She came bearing gifts, which included a 6 pack of mini coke zero, Cherry Bubbly, Aero mint chocolate, granola bars etc plus bug spray and sunscreen. Since we had packed our bags thinking more of Ulukhaktok, we had not thought to pack bug spray. Yellowknife has a lot of trees and there are a lot of mosquitos.

On our first day out, with social distancing, she showed us around and pointed out different landmarks. We took pictures and enjoyed walking in the sun. You could think that it was a photography class on a field trip because we were taking picture after every few steps of walking. It is a beautiful landscape and seeing familiar stores like “Shoppers drug mart” helped to feel at home.

Once we had been shown the way, we went out at least once a day to take a walk around the area. The new teachers to NWT workshops had also started so I was attending these during the day. We were watching Ammar Nakhswani and Sheikh Arif on youtube in the evenings. The days were long so we had time to watch multiple lectures.

Initially we were in a one bedroom with 2 queen beds and not only was it not room enough for 4 people, there was not enough space on the beds either. My 5 year old wanted to sleep with me and so the two teenagers slept together, with one pushing the other off the bed or pulling all of the blanket so the other had none. While attending the new teachers’ workshops, one family of 3, 2 adults and a 3 year old child mentioned how they were in a suite. I wondered why I was not in a suite when I had a lot more people with me. I also got a call from one of the organizers afterwards asking me if it would be ok for them to arrange a suite for me. I was delighted at the thought and looking forward to moving into a bigger space because living with 3 kids in one room for a night or two is one thing but 2 weeks?! I would surely go “coo coo”. Turns out there were no suites available. Then I suggested how about opening the door to the room next to us? Turns out that person was going to be there longer than us. I had just about given up on the idea when I found out that they had managed to get us the 2 room across the hall. We packed our stuff and moved to 105 and 107, leaving 104 behind. The kids were super excited just to have the extra space. The teens were happy to have their own beds and I was happy that I’d be able to attend the morning workshops without having to worry about background noises. Plus, I can go to my room for “me time”.

Our meals would be dropped off at our door. They had “halal” written on the bag and there was a Muslim chef at the restaurant who was cooking for us. The meals had a good serving size and in a few days’ time, after putting a lot of left overs in the fridge, I asked them to no longer give a full serving for the 5 year old. Eventually, I started asking for “no eggs” and “no salad” as I was the only one eating these items and I cannot eat everyone’s food. Some things I was putting into the freezer like left over bread. Last few days I asked for boiled eggs only for breakfast because that is something I could keep for longer. At some point we started to feel like “Pavlov’s dogs” where the knock on the door announcing food bags outside became our highlight of the day. “What’s for lunch/dinner?” For the kids, the snacks were the highlight varying from “2-bite brownies”, chocolate cake, cheese cake, packs of chips, putting cups and lots of bottles of juices and milk.

I really needed this week of being able to do nothing more than sit in the room, eat, use the internet, go for a walk. It helped to bring calm after 2+ months of madness that had to do with packing, painting, moving etc. It will also help with the move and change that was to come once we head out to our destination. I’m very thankful that we had this time in Yellowknife and grateful that I was able to spend it with my room/house mate from University. Back in 2000, when I graduated from Brock University, we had said “Wonder where we will be 10 years from now?” That we should get in touch and find out. It has been 21 years now and still feels like we were living together only yesterday. Being with her not only brought about good memories but made me step into the feeling of being that younger self again.

On Tuesday, week 2 in Yellowknife I had booked a Covid test for my 5yr-old and we head out to the place where this was happening at noon. A shuttle picked us up from our hotel and drove us down. While in the shuttle we found out, from the driver, that there had been 4 cases of Covid on that day itself. Later we found out that there had been 27 positive cases of Covid in Yellowknife and there was a spread in Sahtu. My friend warned me to watch the cases and be on the lookout for any cases in Ulukhaktok.

Thankfully the covid test was pain free and my brave little girl did very well handling it. Thus far, I myself and my eldest daughter have not had to experience getting the test done. I’m sure if a 5 year old can handle it, we probably can too.

By the time we arrived back to our hotel room, my phone rang and were told that we are in the clear and able to go out. Just the day before we had found a playground outside a local school that the kids spent a good few hours playing in. Upon leaving I had thought that I could bring them again and let them have some fun but with Covid numbers rising and us flying into a small remote community I decided it was probably best not to go to places where exposure was possible.

With the green light allowing us to go into stores now, the first place we headed to was Weaver and Devour because both my teens needed to get extreme weather snow boots and we all needed good mitts. On our way we also saw the big rock that had painting of different colors, hands and animals expression of unity in all creatures and in the middle was the crow. We walked down to “Old Town” and eventually found the store. The people in the store were very helpful and got us what we needed. By the end of it not only were the kids too tired to walk back, it would have been a lot harder with big boxes of boots. I’d have to add another duffle bag to my luggage just so I can take the boots with me.

The next day we was another long day with a final trip to Telus, Walmart, Marks and the Independent Grocers (President’s choice store). At Telus I bought SIMs for both the teens’ phones. Walmart took the longest where we bought some more clothes and some final snacks for the flight out. I realized that our sneakers were not going to be enough on a non-paved road with many rocks. I had almost sprained my ankle while on a trail in Yellowknife and so we went to Marks to get some hiking shoes for all us. It was very hard to find the right one since I didn’t know much about what to look for in a hiking shoe and neither did the person trying to help me. Finally, I managed to get a pair of shoes for each of us and headed to the Independent store to buy some halal meat and some cheese. We were supposed to meet my friend for dinner but it took us so long that the planned venue closed before we could get back. She came to visit us once we were back in our room and decided to take us out to eat at the restaurant, where we should have been able to eat now that we were out of self-isolation but told that our food would still come in a bag at our door. It was nice to have a warm meal and sit in the dining room rather than in our bedrooms. Though the kids were not able to finish their plates, they packed it to take with them for later.

On Thursday, which was our last day before our flight to Ulukhaktok on Friday. I had an appointment at the Service Canada place as the passport for the youngest was expiring in October and I thought I could get another one made, except there was one glitch. I would have to give her current passport up and I didn’t want to take the chance, despite the fact that perhaps kids under 16 can travel within Canada without a passport. I didn’t want to take that chance so I decided to wait till we get to Ulukhaktok and mail in the application.

The rest of the afternoon was light. We did manage to get ourselves over the Ja’pain, only to find out that they were all out of Curry buns (the one thing I wanted to try all week!). Turns out they close at 3pm and most of what they bake goes really fast after they open, so next time we are in town, I’m going to phone them in advance and grab some curry buns!

The highlight of the day was our dinner, which was cancelled on Wednesday, but we made it to Savanah’s Thursday evening. Not only was the food delicious, the atmosphere was so like home. Savanah’s is named after the owner, who herself takes the orders and her husband does the amazing cooking. We had samosa’s for appetizers and ordered food that came with awesome chutneys! Savanah is an amazing host, friendly and caring. She has an amazing backstory of how she ended up with a restaurant in Yellowknife with her husband. Next time we meet her I hope to arrange a “play date” with her kids and my 5 year old. Bottom line, it was the best meal of the entire Yellowknife stay and some great conversation too. All 3 of my children did a drawing that went on her kids-art wall. The one of the girl wearing a head scarf with the name “Savanah” on it, was made by my eldest, a budding artist. If you are in Yellowknife you MUST have one meal at Savanah’s.

At the end of the day we went back to our rooms and started to complete packing which we had started the night before. I had put the meat in a cooler in the freezer so I made sure that the front desk knew where it was so they could bring it out in the morning. I told the kids to go to sleep, while I finished up packing, though I’m sure they couldn’t sleep right away due to the anxiety/excitement.

Friday morning, we were up early, woke up the kids around 6am so we could be out for the airport by 6:45am. It took a good amount of time to get out ALL of our 16 luggage items plus 4 backpacks and 4 personal items into the main lobby. Thankfully, we would get the taxi covered by the hotel since there shuttle was not running due to Covid. We started with calling 3 plus 1 extra and by the end of it we had called perhaps around 7 taxis to take all the bags and passengers to the airport. I had sent the elder 2 ahead so they could keep the bags as they get dropped off and I arrived with the little one on the last taxi.

The next task was to get all of these items on carts to wheel inside. Luckily we had arrived the first ones in line. Actually, there was no line yet. Everyone looked at us strangely as we had so many bags. Apparently, some of our carry-on items would have to be put on as luggage. Max bags per person allowed was 5, including the excess, which meant I cannot do 6 excess for myself as I had been able to for the Air Canada flight. At this point, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be done with the baggage and move on to the next part. We paid for the baggage and loaded it on. We were told that not all bags were guaranteed and some had tags that would ensure they got to the other side and some did not. It was a lot of heavy lifting and finally all the bags were done. We were allowed our backpacks (which were personal items on Air Canada but the only items allowed on Northern Air). We also had 3 bags of food. The food I had managed to save in the fridge/freezer at the 2 hotel mini fridges. I didn’t think we would be allowed these bags on top of the personal items but there were no issues with the food bags.

My friend had told us that taking food on board while going to a remote fly-in community and I was reluctant because there is no way this would be allowed in Ontario. I’m glad I listened and packed up whatever I could. This included a bunch of greenish bananas, a pack of 3 cucumbers, tomatoes, left of cherry bubbly and many other items. Thankfully, I was allowed to take these with me. The kids had breakfast at the airport from some of these items and later in Ulu we would be able to eat from this for the first week and more.

We took some pictures on the map of the arctic circle standing on the location that said “Ulukhaktok”. As we waited at gate 4, I sat with a couple of teachers heading back to teach there for their 3^rd year. All of us sitting there waiting to board were going to be together in the coming week as we were all on the plane for the same reasons. Some of them would be the teachers of my own children.

It was raining as we our plane descended to its landing. Though we could not see much outside, there was bodies of water and patches of land. Our plane landed and we got out in the rain and over to the small indoor airport. Here we finally met the Principal, who I’d been in touch with over the phone. We were going to be the first ones to get dropped off to our home so we were called out to pick out the luggage that belonged to us. To my surprise only 5 out of the total 16+4 were missing. A lot more than I had expected, while some of our peers were missing many of their bags too. With the help of some of the guys there we managed to put the luggage in the back of the truck that apparently did not open from the back. I hurt my wrist dumping one of the lighter bags into there. It didn’t seem right to just stand on the side while someone picked up my luggage, especially since I didn’t know these people and they were under no obligation to help. Thankfully they did help and we got to our new home. The outside looked pretty old and worn out and our first impression was not so great. When we got inside though, it was a good space and well kept. There is a kitchen right through the entrance, on the right the dining room with a dining table and 4 chairs and the door to the laundry/furnace room. On the left a living room with 2 sofas, coffee tables and a hallway that lead to 3 bedrooms and a backdoor leading to a pretty roomy cold storage space and another door leading out. The hallway also had a bathroom that was a few steps up from the rest of the area.

Again, with the help of some, we managed to bring in our luggage and place it into the last room, right before the door leading to the cold-store. Turns out many of our boxes had also been delivered by the movers. Unlike how they were picked up from our home in Ontario, they were delivered to our home here. Instead they were dropped off outside the school building for all teachers who had moved here. School principal was doing truck rounds to load up the stuff and take to their homes. I was invited to pick up mine. Again, not wanting to just sit on the side, I helped to pick up whatever items I could. The RCMP dropped by with his truck and decided to help us and loaded his truck too. I asked if we could bring this stuff to the back of the house and pull it into the storage space instead of the front. Thanks to all those who helped we managed to get these cartons indoors. I couldn’t have done it by myself!

While I knew I should start unpacking some of these items, my 5 year old was outside making new friends. We had kids coming to us asking about our names, and what grade I’d be teaching and some told me that I was going to be their teacher. The landscape was freeing. Wherever you turn there was beautiful nature, land, hills and water. No giant billboards, not flashy advertising, just beautiful nature. The sun had come out and my little one wanted to go to the playground with her new friends. I decided to take my bike for a spin. She walked/ran with her friends and I biked behind. Soon the elder two caught up with us and we were in the playground outside of the school. Biking with the cool breeze and full sun felt amazingly free. The best way I can describe it is as “free” because it is a sense of freedom coming from the inside. Like one’s soul feeling the freedom and connection with the nature around.

Once home the next few days I spent unpacking and setting up as much as I could. It took me months to pack and unpacking was not going to happen in 2 days. Monday we were expected at work and kids would be home. I wanted to make sure they could find things and have stuff to eat once I am not at home.

Monday was first day at work and I don’t think I was emotionally ready to part with my babies in a strange new place. I knew they would be fine but still wished they could have come along with me. I don’t think the rest of staff would have appreciated that, nor would the principal have allowed it.

My priority on day 1 was getting my teens into their classes. Though I’d been told that there would be classes they could take and it would all work out, I had not been given nor asked about the details. I had thought that my daughter in grade 11 could continue to take class online through Halton Virtual secondary school but there was no internet, even the data is incapable of sending a picture that I could share with family and friends. Learning online through VSS was not going to be an option anymore so I needed to know what classes they could join.

Turns out I had to fill out some forms and get them registered as a local student and then look into getting them into whatever courses are available. I could have filled these forms while in Ontario, or even in Yellowknife but it was something that was not important enough to have been communicated to me sooner. Then it turns out my eldest didn’t have a class to attend period 1 and there was other issues that had me feeling very uneasy, anxious and frustrated. For me, my children are number one and if they are not looked after then I’m not going to be able to think or plan about teaching the students that I was going to be teaching. I wanted to cry out and I’m sure others noticed me getting teary eyed. At lunch, I had to go home hug them and know they’re ok to help me keep going for the rest of the day. Eventually, we managed to sort out their schedule that would be somewhat reasonable.

The rest of the week was attending in service workshops through zoom, which didn’t always work out the best and sometimes I either used the dial in number or all of us gathered in one room so we were not using the internet more than that it could handle. The information, though useful was very overwhelming. There was no time to plan the actual week ahead and it would be hard to plan for a class that I had never taught before without meeting the kids. I have never taught grade 7/8. I don’t think I ever wanted to teach that grade either, but here I was teaching 7,8/9. How do you plan for teaching an age range that you are not familiar with or know what they are capable of? I planned for some getting to know you and ice breaker activities and some math games. I created a Cartesian graph on the floor with tape on the back floor of the classroom and created a “Cartesian hunt” where students would need to figure out the coordinate of a location on which we place an animal that is to be hunted. The students like the game but after 2 days in, just doing games and posters was not going to cut it.

On labour day weekend, I spent more time opening bags and cartons and setting up the place, (which by the end of the week was a mess.) On Sunday, we had a get together pot luck at one of the peers’ home. It was really nice meeting up with everyone on the weekend. It was apparent that all new comers were feeling similar feelings and dealing with new things like water conservation to the point of not flushing the toilet. There was some anxiety around day one but we somehow got through i

It is Monday of the long weekend, September 6^th. School opens tomorrow and it is first day of classes. Unlike most years, when you tell your children to make sure to shower the day before or the morning of school, this year there will be strictly no showers! Why you ask? In Ulukhaktok we don’t have water pipes, rather we have a water tank that is filled up on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I’m thinking even if they could have water pipes, they would probably freeze in the winter so it is likely not the best choice. When I got up this morning and checked on the water tank, which is in the laundry room, I noticed that we were alarmingly low on water. Like every time I open the tap I wonder if this will be last of it and yet I’m hoping we will make it to tomorrow without the taps going dry. Thankfully I bought a container of water from the local Northern store which we are using as drinking water to save the tap water in the bathroom!

As a result of this situation, no showers today and not tomorrow morning before school either. As horrible as it sounds, flush the toilet only if you take a dump else conserve the water. It made me realize how for granted we take water. Letting the tap run while washing our face or brushing the teeth. Now I literally cup water into my hand and turn off the tap, then cup another handful then turn off the tap. It works just fine. You really don’t need the water to be running and wasted simply because it is inconvenient to open and close the tap.

First week of school (with students) finally coming to an end. It was a rough week. First day, Tuesday, I had to go home for lunch with my children while I noticed some other teachers stayed behind. Upon asking they said that the kids had to go home since all students went home, it was more a COVID related rule, I think. After returning from lunch I realized that it is very hard when the only prep is 30 minutes in the morning. Ideally I could go in earlier but I have to bring my 5 year old with me so I can’t do earlier. I spoke to the kids about them coming home for lunch with her and if I could stay behind. In this way I prepared the lunch the night before and they would be ok.

Wednesday at lunch one by one both of the elder 2 leave school and forgot to take the 5 year old with them. I spent at least 15 to 20 minutes of that lunch break calling them and arranging for pick up. I had also forgotten my own keys at home this day and so while I waited for the little one to get picked up, I got locked out of school without a jacket. Thankfully it was not extreme weather but it was still cold. Thank God I had my phone on me so that I could call a teacher inside the building to open the door and let me in.

I’m not sure how elementary teachers get through the day with such minimal prep time and being with their students almost all day. Don’t get me wrong, the kids are great. Most of them friendly and respectful but even then, it reminded me of WHY I teach highschool and NOT elementary. Oh how I miss teaching highschool!

Towards the end of the week by Thursday I was starting to become a downer. I didn’t want my children to know because they were going through their own stuff. They have made some friends but it is still rough. Thankfully we had a few days of sunshine and the weather was warmer than it had been. Let’s face it though, that was just a special treat, come Saturday it would be very windy and the sun would start to get covered by clouds and then soon rain. My children who are used to being picked up and dropped off in the car and never have to walk in any sort of extreme climates are going to have a lot to get used to and me!

Thursday was “break down” day for the older 2. My daughter had been crying and my son was angry. They were mostly engaged with each other but it was enough to see that they were not happy. The eldest cried to herself “I want to go home” and my boy stated “Just cause I don’t cry doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything”. Even my 5 year old was being whiney and upset without any specific reason. It really got my mind on a run and made my inner self restless. “I had done this to them.” It was a decision I made and they are suffering because of it. These were the type of thoughts that began to emerge and I missed home too.

Thursday morning I also woke up with pain along my back on the 2 sides. The area where the kidneys would be. I have been stress eating a lot and it has been mostly sugary stuff. On Thursday if you let me sit in a tub of ice cream or cake or Nutella and indulge all of it, I would have eaten till I start to vomit it all out. That used to be my “go to” on dealing with emotions way back and right now that is all I wanted to do. It didn’t matter if I was diabetic or needing to take better care of my health.

As the day went by the pain in my back wouldn’t go away. Friday morning I woke up at 4am because it hurt so bad. I was having trouble moving around. Walking was painful. I didn’t want to go to work but then it was only the first week and I’ve never had to take a day off week 1. While I lay in bed, in pain, past 6am, I realized that it is going to be a long day and I’m not going to be able to pull it off. So I texted the Principal that my back was in pain and I will need afternoon off. At this point emotionally I also was not feeling so great. I wanted to go home too. What happened to the good feelings from the first week here? I had given in to the internal rage and monsters created by my mind. I had lost connection with my heart and was letting my mind get the best of me. My mind was simply hating on everything and blaming me for everything. I also realized that the pain in my back had to do with the lack of fibre (fruits/veggies) in my diet. At noon, when lunch break started I went to confirm with Mr Principal that I’m good to go home when he asked me about lesson plans and that this morning I should have “hustled” to get some sort of plan together for the afternoon. I don’t mind doing lesson plans and of course as an experienced teacher I know that it is something that is done. (Most of us prefer to go to work if we can, than have to work out a lesson plan for a sub.) It is not that I mind doing the lesson plan, it is that when we had a conversation earlier he could have mentioned what the expectation of this lesson plan was for his school.

He did mention that he has a template but did not share it with us yet because he did not expect it to be used during the first week. I did not expect to take time off week 1 either. He was not mean about it but the use of “hustle” to get a lesson plan done did not make me feel good. I’m in pain. I am barely managing to get through the days lessons because I’m not used to having a 30 minute prep for figuring out what to do the whole day. When I was hired, he knew that I was not an elementary teacher. I didn’t want to teach Science but he said “you’ll be fine”… our day starts at 8:15 (students arrive 8:30-8:45) and ends at 3:45pm. During this time we have a 30 minute prep and a 1 hour lunch. If I have to go home for lunch then only a 30 minute prep and a 15 minute break (except Wednesday when I have morning recess supervision). I’m prepping for grade 7, 8/9 and on top of that I have 3 students on a modified IEP that I have to figure out how to best serve as well. All I’m asking is if Mr Principal can be nicer and have some heart for the teacher(s) who are new and may be going through some mental breakdown of their own. Have a heart?

I have to point out, so that you don’t get the wrong idea, the Principal’s role is also a teaching one. So it is not like he does not have his plate full with a lot of things. He has been very helpful in staying touch over the phone before we got here and helped to make sure we had furniture in our homes and helped to actually physically carry our bags and cartons of stuff to our home. I do believe he has heart, just not very good at showing it in person.

As I said, I am an experienced teacher (high school) and can make a lesson plan so I wrote one out on the fly and left it for him on the office door. He had said I should go to the nurse’s station and maybe get it checked out but I called them over the phone and the nurse basically confirmed what I had suspected and told me drink prune juice, which I don’t have. I went to the local store and picked up bananas, strawberries ($6+), watermelon (1/5^th of a watermelon for $5), small packet of sweet kale salad mix ($7) and decided that I was going to add fibre to my diet and fix the back pain. The last time I was in a similar situation was after I had my first born with a C-section and general anesthesia. (TMI: Pretty sure an enema was involved and I don’t think that is an option here and now!)

I finally got home, half way through lunch break. My kids were waiting to be fed as I had not pre-prepped lunch thinking I’d be home. I quickly made then sandwiches and managed to get the little one to call her teacher and friends back in Ontario. They were all very excited to hear from her and she was very happy and chatty as well. She told them that she liked it here, that she liked her teacher and had made some friends. It was good to hear that she was not feeling frustrated and that things were looking good through her lens.

Once the three of them headed back to school. I decided to take some “me time”. Maybe that is what I really needed. I had a couple of bananas, watched the last hour of “Sing”. (I had started watching it with the kids earlier in the week but fell asleep.) Tearing up much in many of the scenes like the dad breaking out of jail to meet his son etc. Then I watched a little bit of Moana, until the point she leaves the island off on an adventure with her grandma spirit with her. I decided it was time to offer my afternoon prayers. I have been using the 99 names book to help me through anything that was getting in my way and magically (more than magic) the name of Allah that comes to me, when I open the book randomly, is the exact one that I need. When I read the description of the detailed meaning, it has what I need to hear. This time I open the page to “Malik al Mulk”. I decided to use the last blank page to jot down all the names that have helped me so far, such as “Quddos”, “Azeem” and “Mujeeb”. I don’t want to forget and maybe I’ll write about that later.

Bottom line, I was able to let go of the negativity my mind has been spewing and able to reconnect with my heart and with my Lord. Yes, at the end of the day, it is a decision I made but I know it was not baseless and that there were reasons behind it. It will also be a path of growth for myself and my kids. We will come of out of it stronger, closer and bolder. It has only been 1 week of school being open, things can only get better from here on.

On a side note, I added enough fibre to my diet. Even had some tangerines, kale salad, pecans, lots of fennel seeds and more banana. I’m really hopeful this will make the difference. Saturday morning topped it off with a cup of coffee and I’m still I pain…

Second week flew by despite some of its craziness. Thanks to having spent the weekend preparing for the week, I had a pretty good Monday. Good in the sense of having worked prepared, not that it all went well. What I had prepared was not the best fit for all students in the grade 7 class. The grade 8/9 stuff went much better. Tuesday I tried to just do one simple task of seeing if students can find factors of some numbers and see if they could figure out which is prime. Basically, over the week I decided that moving forward was not going to be the best thing for the class, but rather figuring out where each student is at and what their needs are so that I may be able to help them better. Grade 7, I did not end up doing Science on Monday as my eldest daughter had her last class free and so was able to help me do an art lesson. She is a budding artist and perhaps future Manga author so she taught the students how to make a basic face for a cartoon character. Tuesday, they did not want to do Science so we did some digital art. “The Northern Images Mission is one of three missions that will be flown by

AuroraSat‐1, NWT’s first satellite… One thousand pieces of artwork will be loaded to the satellite before it is

launched.” Basically, students can have their digital art displayed in space with the Earth in the background. Some students thought that was pretty cool and others didn’t see the point of it.

First 2 mornings of the week, the weather was not great. My thoughts, “Winter has come.” The winds were gusting and there was not much sun to be seen. Thankfully, Tuesday afternoon the sun was out and we heard that the long awaited Barge had finally docked at the King’s bay port. What is the “Barge” you ask? Good question. It is basically a ship pulling freight. When you look at it from a distance, the only ship in the water in the whole area, it is a sight to be seen. For some reason it does not seem like it is that big but then you look at the line of trucks that it is holding on one of the things it pulled in and then there are containers after container filled with supplies for the local stores, school and other offices etc. You realize that this seemingly little ship is hauling a lot! Yes literally a year’s supply of stuff that will be at more reasonable prices because it was brought in by sea and not by air. People and businesses, including the school, have a supply list that they create over the year and submit by a certain date to ensure that they will get their supplies around this time of the year. Earliest late August in Ulukhaktok but more likely some time in September.

I’d been hearing about the barge coming since I got here and finally it had arrived. The folks in town were happy. Any kids who had a SIN number and are old enough to work were excited as they would be spending the next 2-3 days helping to unload and stock the 3 stores that are in town. The local Co-op, Northern store and Quick stop. I normally buy my groceries at the Co-op as my understanding is that buying there helps the community. Anything I can’t get at the Co-op I go and get from the Northern (who will be kindly getting some halal meat items for me! Koana much!) Theses 2 stores close at 6pm during the week and 4pm on Sat/Sun. The Quick stop opens up a little later and stays open till 10pm (I think). It would be like your convenience store. You know like Mac’s or Desi Mart back in Ontario. The prices would be more and there would be less actual grocery items. I’ve only been there once as I heard they had bags of chips on sale for 80 cents. Many items go on sale before the barge gets here because they want to get rid of old and sometimes stale stock. Of course my kids wanted 2 bags each and I spent like $10 just on chips. Just this once, I guess it’s ok, it’s almost the same as Ontario, right? The same bag over at the other stores is almost $3. Big bag of Ms V’s Salt and Vinegar chips at 50% at Northern was almost $5. Yes, that at half price!

Wednesday morning the weather was cold again and not much sun. My son had also signed up at the Co-op to help out with carrying supplies from the container to the store. For the first time (and maybe only time) I let him miss school to go work because I knew that not many others would be in his classes either, hence there would not be too much work missed at school. Just as I thought, hardly any students in high school and even my grade 8/9 only half the class (or less) attended. Not much curriculum was covered because it is known to all that this a big deal in the community and everyone works together to unload and get things where they need to go. Even some of my grade 7 students had the opportunity to help out and earn some cash.

Despite the weather being colder, my 2 daughters had been out in the playground from the time school ended till after 7pm when I went to get them. While I had this opportunity to be by myself for a while, I decided to take a stroll down by the Arctic ocean, Queen’s bay. It is the part which is shaped like a horseshoe and there is a dirt road that winds around this area, there are boats parked on the rocks and it is a beautiful scene. Every time I walk past it, it’s like the ocean calls to me. So once again, I was down by the shore walking and taking pictures. (Hope to share them one day soon!) I was tempted to go closer to the water but then a dog (who was in the dog house) came out. These dogs are there to protect the boats and other property so they are not meant to be friendly. I decided to look the other way and calmly walk further. A lady buzzed by in her “honda” (ATV) and when I decided to walk back home, the same lady whizzed by again going back home. I wondered who she was, where she lived and what her story may be? In my imagination I thought what it would be like to wave and ask her to give me a ride home. What would it be like to sit at the back of that ATV… but then I’d miss the scenery and the stroll home, so I didn’t really want a ride right now.

Three elementary school children were playing in the area, they waved hello and I replied to them. It was a feeling of serenity and happiness that came from within. It reminded me of what Bruce Lipton and others say about how what we feel inside is really what matters. If I focus on the good and all that IS going well, if all inside me is well and content, then everything outside is beautiful. I can connect to all of it with positive feelings and a great vibe. If I had spent my week focused on all that was not going well and that didn’t go the way I wanted then I would not be out there enjoying the ocean and now walking back home to see my son. I had not seen him all day because at lunch, when he came home, we were in the community hall, where they had a community lunch. Basically food was available for all in the community to come and it. Sure, there were not much halal/vegetarian options but the BANEK (bread that looks like a fried donut, can be eaten with soup or with hot chocolate, reminds me of the sweet friend bread we would get at the Khoja mosque. Far from home yet the same familiar taste.)

My son was exhausted from the day’s work, for someone who has no labour-work experience, and who was recently tired from his “hunting” trip with his friend. He did not hunt anything but he did get to practice shooting from a gun that could have hunted some snow geese. Good practice for when the geese come back in Spring! Anyhow, apparently he had to walk for 3 hours to get out of town where this hunting happens and that was exhausting enough for him. Determined to buy a new nintendo switch game, he at dinner and was out for the 3^rd and final shift of the day. As he went back to work, I went out to meet the girls in the playground not far from our home. It was full of children playing. My little one did not have mitts or hat on and did not want to wear it either. She insisted she was not tired and did not want to go home but her crying and screaming clearly negated the words she was speaking. I spent some time talking to my mom on the phone and then eventually, after a lot of resistance and insistence on “I’m not tired!!!” we got home around 7:40ish pm. The sun was not shining but it was going to be out for another few hours. Even at 10:30pm, it is not yet pitch dark but rather looks like the sun is just setting when you look out into the horizon.

Thursday was similar to Wednesday, in the number of students that attended school and my son still working for the co-op. The sun was out in the afternoon and I wished I had the energy to stay out and soak it in but instead we went home and watched old episodes of Brooklyn 99. I would have liked to catch up on some of the Anime, missing Tokyo revengers, My hero academic and some of the others that we didn’t get a chance to catch up on but that’s ok, more to save up for later! Thursday is also laundry day and wash dishes day and shower day… basically anything that requires water before the weekend. Friday water will refill so use it on Thursday, conserve till Sunday night, at which point depending on how much is left, more can be used as long as Monday will not be high winds that do no allow refilling of water tank. I did not have the energy to do all that and go out but my 5 year old was sitting by the window, looking out at the sun and other kids playing outside and simply could not take it anymore. Soon there was that tantrum and that she simply “cannot take it anymore” and that she “has to go outside!” My eldest daughter eventually caved in and took her out for what was supposed to be only 5 minutes but was at least half an hour.

Finally Friday, it was going to be Terry Fox run in the afternoon. Many students were still helping out with the barge, as was my son, not much curriculum covered for grades 8/9 but we did managed to do some more math (still on finding factors) for grade 7. At lunch everyone went home to eat. When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Except the Northern store, no businesses are open because everyone goes home to have a meal together. Initially, last week I wasn’t going home and sending kids because I was scrambling to get lessons ready. This week I went home with them every day and actually enjoyed being able to eat with them at home. (Not sure if I would want to once weather gets worse but for now weather is permitting this easily.)

After lunch we were in our classes for about 20 minutes then came out for the Terry fox run/walk. We started together, students with their teacher and classes leaving school but everyone has a different pace. Those students who can do the run were off running as fast as they could go. Others tried but then couldn’t keep up and walked with me. Soon others from elementary and high school caught up and others went further forward. Little ones walked up to the golf course (yes there is a golf course that is available to play on ALL day and night when there is only sunlight and no night in the summer months). We continued to walk to the lake. The water was cold but fresh, clean and clear. We all tried our hand in there and took some pictures. Talked by the water for a bit. My eldest daughter had caught up to me here and I was missing my son. He would have enjoyed the hike but I’m sure he will enjoy many more outings to come. We walked back, getting tired but enjoying the bright sun and wonderful conversations with colleagues. There is usually not much time to catch up with peers during the school week so this walk was great to catch up with many of them who happened to walk beside me at different points on the trail. It was definitely the most scenic and beautiful Terry Fox walk I’ve ever done!

Upon returning back to school, everyone got hot chocolate and more BANKEK! We stayed in class for another half an hour before school was dismissed. You think one would go home but when the sun is out we want to stay out at least for a little bit longer. I found out that my 16 year old was learning to play the guitar along in the Math classroom by one of her friends. We, myself and 5 year old decided to join them. Once we left school, the next stop was groceries. Fresh items come on Thursday so I figured there may be some stuff available. Bought $10 worth of bananas (2 bunches), milk, break, eggs (the usual), a small kale salad kit ($6) and a few other items. I headed home with groceries in my bike trailer and the girls still hanging out with new friends. Maybe an hour later, they bring their friend over. A very sweet girl who loves sharing and spoiling my little one. Everything I had said I was not going to get (mostly junk food), she had bought for them. She brought her Nintendo switch and games with her and a bag of “munchies”. Popcorn to microwave, Chocolate Pokey sticks, Halloween pumpkin ball chocolates, lollypops, Bueno chocolate to name a few! She is the youngest in her family but older than my eldest and I hope that my kids will be able to return the kindness in their own way.

They are still playing in the living room and I decided it was perfect timing to get some time to write down all that happened in this week. One last thing that I must mention. Earlier today, before lunch Mr Principal came to my room, I was sitting at my desk to do attendance and he asked me how things were and if I was enjoying myself. At first confused, not sure of the question or the intent behind it, I realized he was genuinely asking about my well-being and for the first time, in a very long time, that he cared. “Let me know if there is anything” that I need to ask or need help with. I’m not saying that he didn’t care before or that he cared more now. Just that I’m grateful for it and for everyone else who has been kind, loving and there. This includes my family and friends who are not here physically but are still there for me. I am thankful to all of you!